A Winning Technique to Attract Love

If you’ve been with me a while, you know that I believe strongly in the power of faith and visualization to ensure you attract the right man, even if you’ve only attracted the worst, most disappointing men before.

EXAMPLE:

Even though I grew up in a happy home with two parents who clearly loved each other (and demonstrated it), I observed and absorbed the behavior of friends’ unhappy parents and things I read in the women’s magazines (“Why Men Avoid Commitment,” “Why Men are Hardwired to Cheat,” “Man Shortage Survival Guide: Maybe You Have to Share Him With Another Woman,” and so on.)

I didn’t believe in happily ever after relationships. I found myself wildly attracted to bad boys who kept my adrenaline pumping, broke my heart, and confirmed my faulty ideas about men.

After I learned about visualization and discovered the courage to believe better things about relationships (and this does take courage after you’ve been through the mill a few times), I attracted much better men.

Things started to fall into place. I became surer of myself, rock solid in my belief that I deserved happiness, not drama, and became attracted to men who could deliver it.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HOW VISUALIZATION HELPED ME:

For years and years, I was overweight. Every weekend, I planned to begin some diet (Scarsdale, Weight Watchers, one meal-per-day, etc.) on Monday.

On Monday, I’d start. By Thursday (usually earlier than that), I’d fall off the wagon and plan to start again — you guessed it — the following Monday.

My plans to exercise worked out every bit as well.

All this changed when I discovered the benefits of faith and visualization. As soon as I believed I could do it (and internalized the “after picture” as fact), it happened.

Again, things fell into place. I ate well, sparingly but healthfully (without clenching my teeth), and I found myself wanting to exercise (in a pleasant fashion). My weight loss did not result from some torturous Biggest Loser-type regimen.

(And I’ve maintained that weight loss for many years.)

If you’re interested in visualization and faith and how they can help you, books are available (maybe even in your public library) to help you achieve your goals.

My favorites:

CREATIVE VISUALIZATION by Shakti Gawain
THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING by Norman Vincent Peale
THE POWER OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND by Joseph Murphy
THE MAGIC OF BELIEVING by Claude Bristol

These books may also be available at your favorite bookstore. I prefer to support independent bookstores, who happily order titles for me (and usually put them in my hands in two to three days), but if you’re not fortunate enough to have an independent in your area, there’s always Amazon (which may be part of the reason you don’t have an independent in the first place).

In the meantime, believe in yourself and good luck.

What He Really Means When He Wants to Be “Friends With Benefits”

Ever hear that old song, “Fooled Around and Fell In Love?”

It’s about a guy who sleeps with a parade of women and falls in love with one of them. It’s been known to happen.

Most of the time, though, it doesn’t happen. Instead, the guy fools around and forgets about it. Then he fools around with someone else.

It may be popular to believe that only men fool around or seek FWB arrangements, but in my experience women are also guilty of taking sexual advantage of a vulnerable guy, only to move on and leave him in the dust.

And FWB arrangements aren’t limited to just sex. I’ve known women who’ve let smitten men to buy them drinks, dinner, and jewelry, encouraging them to think they’ll fall in love with them someday.

I’m not a fan of Friends With Benefits arrangements. People get hurt.

When a guy asks to be FWBs, he’s revealing a serious character flaw. He’s demonstrating the ability to reduce another human being into a toy for his personal pleasure. (In most cases, that would be a sex toy.)

What a repellent quality. When a person suggests you be his FWB, be thankful that you got the opportunity to glimpse his true nature before you got in too deep. Turn around and walk away.

You are not a toy. You are a human being with a beating heart. Do not waste time with slutty men.

Want to Meet Your Soulmate? Do This…

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: The best way to meet your Mr. Right (or, if you’re a man, your Ms. Right) is to recognize him when he shows up.

Knowing what you want raises your antenna for it. We all have a vague idea of what we want in a man (for some of us, it’s just a man), but we must do better if we are to attract satisfying, drama-free love.

Writing a list of the qualities you want in a future boyfriend — or spouse — has an uncanny way of making you not only alert to that right guy when he appears in your airspace, but also of bringing him into your airspace. Yeah, I know it sounds like hocus-pocus, but it works.

So…

If you’re between the ages of 18 and 80, you pretty much know what you don’t want in a man. Jog your memory by writing down the qualities of the men who’ve hurt, disappointed, bored, or revolted you. For instance:

-Cheats
-Lies
-Uncommunicative/unaffectionate
-Whips out nasal spray at restaurant table
-Never stops talking
-Calls incessantly
-Humorless/makes jokes at others’ expense
-Competes with me/puts me down/is threatened by my success

Now that you know what you don’t want, uncover what you do want by writing down good alternatives:

-Loyal and faithful
-Truthful
-Communicates well
-Affectionate
-Good listener
-Calls to make plans; prefers to spend time eye-to-eye
-Funny, laughs easily
-Kind
-Supports my dreams/revels in my success/lifts me up

You can make your list as long as you like. Keep it in your pocket and refer to it throughout the day. Keep a copy on your bathroom mirror and read it while you’re brushing your teeth. Think about what it would feel like to be with a man who possesses the qualities that make you happy. Think about how it would feel having him sit beside you at your cousin’s wedding.

Keep this up for 30 days.

If you still think it’s a big waste of time, I challenge you to try it. I’ve received letters from women who gave it a shot (even after meeting a long parade of duds) who say it worked for them.

And just the other day, I met a woman who reported she met her husband after reading a book that suggested writing down a list of 100 wishes (not hopes, she emphasized, but wishes). She put down in ink a wish for “someone to sail with.”

Shortly afterwards, she met her sailor and married him. She credits having written her list for a) knowing what would make her happy, and b) for recognizing it when it showed up. She says she’s very happily married and grateful for her first failed marriage because it taught her “what not to do.”

She also says she “treasures” every moment with her new husband, which encouraged me because I’ve heard of women who got divorced, only to marry men like their former spouses. Who knows? Maybe writing a wish list help this woman avoid another bad marriage.

Why don’t you try it? It’s free, and you have nothing to lose.