I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: The best way to meet your Mr. Right (or, if you’re a man, your Ms. Right) is to recognize him when he shows up.
Knowing what you want raises your antenna for it. We all have a vague idea of what we want in a man (for some of us, it’s just a man), but we must do better if we are to attract satisfying, drama-free love.
Writing a list of the qualities you want in a future boyfriend — or spouse — has an uncanny way of making you not only alert to that right guy when he appears in your airspace, but also of bringing him into your airspace. Yeah, I know it sounds like hocus-pocus, but it works.
So…
If you’re between the ages of 18 and 80, you pretty much know what you don’t want in a man. Jog your memory by writing down the qualities of the men who’ve hurt, disappointed, bored, or revolted you. For instance:
-Cheats
-Lies
-Uncommunicative/unaffectionate
-Whips out nasal spray at restaurant table
-Never stops talking
-Calls incessantly
-Humorless/makes jokes at others’ expense
-Competes with me/puts me down/is threatened by my success
Now that you know what you don’t want, uncover what you do want by writing down good alternatives:
-Loyal and faithful
-Truthful
-Communicates well
-Affectionate
-Good listener
-Calls to make plans; prefers to spend time eye-to-eye
-Funny, laughs easily
-Kind
-Supports my dreams/revels in my success/lifts me up
You can make your list as long as you like. Keep it in your pocket and refer to it throughout the day. Keep a copy on your bathroom mirror and read it while you’re brushing your teeth. Think about what it would feel like to be with a man who possesses the qualities that make you happy. Think about how it would feel having him sit beside you at your cousin’s wedding.
Keep this up for 30 days.
If you still think it’s a big waste of time, I challenge you to try it. I’ve received letters from women who gave it a shot (even after meeting a long parade of duds) who say it worked for them.
And just the other day, I met a woman who reported she met her husband after reading a book that suggested writing down a list of 100 wishes (not hopes, she emphasized, but wishes). She put down in ink a wish for “someone to sail with.”
Shortly afterwards, she met her sailor and married him. She credits having written her list for a) knowing what would make her happy, and b) for recognizing it when it showed up. She says she’s very happily married and grateful for her first failed marriage because it taught her “what not to do.”
She also says she “treasures” every moment with her new husband, which encouraged me because I’ve heard of women who got divorced, only to marry men like their former spouses. Who knows? Maybe writing a wish list help this woman avoid another bad marriage.
Why don’t you try it? It’s free, and you have nothing to lose.
