How to Dazzle That Man

Have a big night coming up with a Mr. Very Possible? Nervous about making a great impression? Well, take a deep breath. Let’s ensure you easily make a stellar impression by tapping into the qualities that make you the treasure you are.

Let’s begin. But, before we start, remember:

1) Dating makes most people nervous. If Mr. Possible is a nice guy, he’s probably a little nervous about making a good impression, too (but he’s not necessarily showing it!).

2)Confidence and a good sense of humor make you more attractive than a perfect body and a beautiful face. (Read that again, please.)

So, right this very second, get yourself a pen and paper and write down:

1) All the things you’re good at.

2) The qualities your friends like about you.

3) Every compliment you can remember getting.

Bring these things to mind again as you’re getting ready for your night out. Remember who you are and why you’re special. Remember why the guy is lucky to be going out with you.

(No need to go to extremes and adopt an entitled or conceited attitude — surely you know that’s a turnoff — but by all means carry yourself with self-regard and quiet confidence.)

Cultivate a healthy sense of self-love. In addition to making you more attractive, it makes you less likely to accept substandard treatment from substandard men.

(PLEASE NOTE: It’s been said that you can’t really love anyone until you love yourself, but nobody can really love you until you love yourself, either.)

And then, because healthy men tend to be attracted to happy women, write a list of five things you’re grateful for. Now. (Even if you don’t have a job. If you have a roof over your head, food in the fridge, and breath in your body, you’re better off than many other people.)

Gratitude raises your vibration, gives you that je ne sais quoi everybody wants.

The weekend is upon us. Make it a good one!

How to Survive a Blind Date

Hey, Terry-

How about a few pointers on going on blind dates that someone is trying to set you up with?

Keep writing.

D.

Hi, D.

Here are a few pointers:

1)  Look at a blind date as an opportunity. My parents met on a blind date and remained happily together until my mother died — after 44 years of marriage.

2) That said, take the pressure off. Tell yourself you are just going out to meet a person — another human being– for conversation and perhaps a couple of laughs. Assume that the man you meet probably won’t be the man you marry or have anything in common with. This way, if things go well,  you will be pleasantly surprised; if they don’t, you’ll have met a new character for your novel, screenplay, or just a funny anecdote to tell your friends.

(Note: If things don’t go well — and sometimes they won’t — do not blame yourself. Most of the guys you meet won’t be THE ONE. How could they be? Anyway, you just need one THE ONE, and not a whole bunch of THE ONEs, which would make life way too complicated. Take rejection, boring guys, cheap guys, and losers with roving eyes in stride. Keep moving until you meet THE ONE.)

3 )If things go well, express interest and agree to see the guy again. But do keep seeing other people. Don’t figure the guy is THE ONE after a couple of dates. Until he proves himself, keep dating.

Note: Women ask if dating too many people at once is wrong or will make them appear as though they don’t have standards. No. The goal of the blind date (or the coffee date, usually set up after a couple of connections on an Internet site) is to go see. Again, you are just going to see if you click with a person; you’re not sleeping with the dude.

4) Before you go out, it helps to know exactly what you have to offer. This is really more important than the car you drive, whether or not you’re having a good hair day, or your sneaking suspicion that you need to lose eight pounds. Right now, take out a piece of paper and write down a) everything you like about yourself, b) everything your friends like about you, and c) every compliment you can remember getting from the time you were seven.

Read the list. Read it again whenever you need to remind yourself why you are a great catch and some man would be lucky to have you. By all means, excuse yourself and take the list out in a stall in the Ladies’ Room if you forget.

When you feel good about yourself —  when you know what you have to offer —  people pick up on it. It’s attractive. It also makes you far less likely to accept substandard behavior from a date, and it somehow ensures that you’re not as attracted to a ‘bad boy’ as you might be otherwise.

Hope this helps!