The Best Night to Meet Singles

The New York Times Magazine ran a fascinating article yesterday, entitled “Wednesday Night Is All Right For Loving.”

Its author, Nate Silver, teamed up with OkCupid, “a matchmaking site that takes a playful attitude toward the data it collects (like which camera takes the most successful profile photos).”

Silver wanted to know which days of the week are the best to meet someone at a bar. Based on OkCupid’s study, it’s Wednesday.

Caveat: The article mentioned that a percentage of singles listed casual sex as a “romantic priority.” If you’re looking for love and not sex, it makes sense to make sure that the cute guy chatting you up is on the same page.

(Hint: If his eyes are on your body more than your face, you might want to give him a pass. If he suggests “getting out of here,” you definitely want to pass. If he wants to see you in any other setting, tell him to give you a call. After he does, provide your own transportation and meet him in a public place.)

Speaking from experience, I know that Wednesday is a fine night to find true love. I met my husband in a bar (he doesn’t drink), and we had our first date on a Wednesday.

Tips:

-If you’re going to a bar, take a friend and enjoy her company. Don’t look like you’re casing the place for a live one.

-Not all bars are the same. You may be utterly uncomfortable in one (check the vibe) and perfectly at ease in another.

-Dress appropriately. If it’s a sports bar, dress casually. Avoid being the woman wearing too much jewelry, too low cut a shirt, too long nails (scary) at all costs.

-Breathe deeply, treat the bartender well, smile with your eyes. If someone with romantic potential talks to you, and you run out of things to say, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. When you come back, look the guy in the eye and say, “That story you told me about ________ was so interesting. Tell me more.”

Remember, you don’t have to be the most beautiful woman in the room to attract the attention of the opposite sex. You just have to be approachable and interested in other people.

Meet 50 Men In 90 Days

*Note: If you’re too heartbroken to even think about meeting a new man now, check out this post on getting over the loss of a love.

Last night, Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan started a new round of her popular 90-Day Challenge. If you’re wondering why on earth anyone would want to meet 50 men in 90 days, Ronnie says:

“Here are seven of the incredible behavioral and belief shifts that transformed my [former] women participants:

7. They used to think there weren’t any men to talk to and now, they look around to see how many men can be added to their lists.

6. Meeting new men and talking to them has become fun. These women no longer see it as drudgery, thinking, “Ugh, another loser.” Turns out that a lot of these men are really interesting.

5. They discovered you don’t have to be a supermodel to approach men. Any woman can be friendly and flirty. And, 99.9% of the time their conversations and ice breakers are well received which has boosted their confidence.

4. They totally embraced the challenge (after initial skepticism) and plan to do to meet men at least twice a week. This activity has become a natural part of life. They don’t stress about a particular event – because they know – if one doesn’t work out or go well, there is always another.

3. They now recognize how many men are out there. They see the abundance and have touched it so they know it’s real. That means it’s only a matter of time and a numbers game to meet the right one.

2. Today, these women are adept at meeting men. They don’t sweat over starting a conversation or stammer with nerves. This is the confidence that comes with practice which cannot be achieved any other way. They didn’t start out being super sociable or flirty, but they are now.

1. The number one benefit? Meeting more men equals more dates! After all, Isn’t that the number one goal?”

I, Terry, know Ronnie personally. I like her, and I like her methods. Her program includes:

■Six one-hour group coaching sessions over the phone (no travel!)

Monday nights: 1/24 (you’ve missed this session, but enrollment entitles you to the recording) , 2/7, 2/21, 3/7, 3/21, 4/4 from 8:00-9:00pm east coast time

■Once a week emailing for questions in between

■The book MANifesting Mr. Right (if you don’t already have one) or any audio program of your choice.

Ronnie says, “This is a $750 value when compared to private coaching and a lot more fun and inspiring! But I want this to be an accessible program that anyone can take advantage of. That’s why this price is so incredibly low. Get on board now with the best program you’ll see anywhere. All this great support and info for $99.97.”

Here’s what recent participants have to say about the group coaching process:

“Ronnie gave me several valuable tips that have made all the difference in my flirting ability.” – Michelle

“Being on the call made me feel so much better as I came to realize that I’m not alone. Lots of other women feel the same things that I do!” – Randi

Interested? Sign up here.

Where to Meet Men

Hello Terry,

I purchased your book over two years ago when I was probably using a different email address.

Between then and now, I needed to do a lot of so-called “personal growth” before I was ready to find a life mate.

I feel I’m ready now, but I am intimidated by the idea of going to a sports bar to meet men. Besides working and meeting with friends, I ride my bike with a big club and go to races on weekends. I feel overwhelmed by the idea of “circulating” in addition to my work, friends, and sports.

Do you think I could attract the man of my dreams into my life while continuing with my current activities, if I used the affirmations and other techniques in your book?

Thanks for your help.

-S.

Hi, S.-

A sports bar is a great place to meet guys, especially at this time of year (I’ll get back to that in a minute), but it’s definitely not the only way.

If you’re involved in a “big club,” meeting friends, and so on, it sound like you are already giving yourself ample opportunities to meet new men (and even if you don’t meet new men, meeting new women helps, too — they tend to have male coworkers, brothers, cousins, etc. Every friend you make belongs to a new social universe).

So, definitely do those affirmations and stay out there. Affirmations describing what you want (as opposed to what you don’t want) + getting (or staying) out there = you ending up in a happy and loving relationship.

It also helps to be pleasant as you go through the small moments in life. Be kind to the dry cleaner. Make small talk with the old person behind you at the bank. What goes around comes around, and you never know where a new acquaintance may lead.

Do this in a relaxed manner. Don’t allow yourself to feel overwhelmed. It’s a process,  not a job.

Back to the sports bar thing, which does overwhelm you: Don’t do it.

But, for readers  who want one more means of meeting new people, show up at a comfortable bar for Monday Night Football. (Different bars attract different crowds, so take a friend and pop in and out of them until you find the right fit.)

Become a familiar face there. Enjoy the free buffet. Tip the bartender well. Don’t get drunk. Observe who does get drunk, and worse, who drinks and drives. Observe who pushes you out of the way to score a seat at the bar. The man of your dreams will not be one of these people.

Observe who tips well. Observe who behaves good-naturedly when his team loses. The man of your dreams may be one of these people. Smile. Don’t look like you’re casing the place for a live one, but do be open to speaking to men who make gentle — not insistent– eye contact.

If you meet a Mr. Possible, agree to get together with him for a drink or coffee in a public place. Provide your own transportation until you’re convinced he’s not a serial killer.